Archive for November, 2009

Acid Folk

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

Crazy ginger vibrating Scotsman!  Flying computerized bagpipes!  What’s not to love?

Perplexer – Acid Folk

Shinypixel on the Nokia N900

Friday, November 27th, 2009

…well, almost.  The culmination of tonight’s informative voyage into the bleeding-edge world of the Nokia N900 (which I will be getting assuming I can a) find one and b) the touchscreen doesn’t suck) SDK was this screenshot of a familiar website:

shinypixel-n900

(Click for full-size.)

So: that’s Shinypixel up there being rendered as it would be on (an old version of) a N900, in a virtualized Maemo OS, running in a virtual image of Ubuntu, which is in turn running in VMWare under Windows XP.  And after all that, it still renders like it’s meant to.  Look how far we’ve come.

Well, that was probably the geekiest thing I’ll do all month.  I reckon I ought to go and lie down.

MIHTEEL : Black Legend

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Looking back, the turn of the millennium was both the best and worst of times for dance music.  Being in the thick of the dance explosion around the turn of the century has left me many happy memories which have outlasted the credibility of the music therein.

Today’s example was untroubled by any sort of credibility or appreciation from me, mind you. Click away and be reminded of this so-called “tune” while digesting my ensuing bile.

Black Legend – You See The Trouble With Me

I can see the trouble with you, Black Legend:  you’re crap.  Now, I’m all for contrasting elements in electronic music, but this is just a collection of random noises one after the other:  a faux-live recording of Barry-White-lite, an echoing disco-hit sample, and a stunningly out-of-place off-beat sample of someone apparently doing plumbing really damn loudly.   The latter’s particular brand of dull, resonant thwacking is perhaps my most hated sample in all of dance music, if not music itself.  Mangled together with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, it’s as if someone on a roof terrace on a lazy afternoon thought “I wonder if I can make some music out of whatever’s on my desktop today.”

But it didn’t matter.  The Ibeefa-drunk public lapped it up, and I found myself having to play it during gigs without ever really liking it, or actually even owning a copy – someone with worse taste always seemed to have one hanging around.  They’re welcome to keep it.  Or fry eggs on it.  Whatever.

The terror doesn’t end there, though.  A few years later, as pop and dance frenziedly ate themselves and each other in the face of the internet and Coldplay, Mad’House (ha!) purloined Black Legend’s exquisite pipe-hitting noise and slung Madonna through Autotune over the top:

Mad’House – Like A Prayer

This pop-tastic minor hit did in fairness tone things down a little, at least attempting to glue things together instead of leaving gaping 2-minute holes like Black Legend, but there’s some quite ropey drum syncing towards the end.  I didn’t really mind it too much, and may have been seen “dancing” along to it in some Loughborough dive bar many moons ago.  Those were the days, eh?

MIHTEEL : Music Sounds Better With You

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

(This is the first in an occasional series about Music I Hated Which Everyone Else Liked: tunes which to this day still amaze me in their rise to popularity in spite of their crushing mediocrity.  Guaranteed to wind you up.  Enjoy!)

Words simply cannot express how much displeasure this brought to my ears and countenance in the late 90s.  Despite loud protestations that extended periods of repetitive twangy guitar jangling sucked, I have only found about 3 other people that ever agreed with me.

Stardust – Music Sounds Better With You

Dance-pop antagonists Spacedust did a far better job of making similar samples sound more interesting on their extremely naughty white label, which has been excellently described as “crass” by people who presumably don’t have ears.  (It also appears on their loosely-monickered greatest hits, should you be desperate for a copy.)

I personally have a copy of the Stardust EP on white-label, which contains a decent Bob Sinclar mix alongside two terrible Madonna and Gym & Tonic mashups, and an obviously knocked-off way-too-loud copy of the aforementioned Spacedust effort.  That’ll teach me.  But then again, you probably own a copy of the actual Stardust single, and that’s far worse.

On The Move

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

The perhaps inevitable but still aggravating news has arrived that I can’t stay in my flat next year, so I’ve been out and about looking for hovels.  Still staying in West London – I value my limbs – and so far I’ve got a few viewings lined up of chic-ish boudoirs.  More news as it happens.

In the meantime it’s a great excuse to slide in this University classic from yesteryear:

Barthezz – On The Move

As usual, it’s gradually floated across the “cheese” line in the intervening years, but the associated memories of an entirely less qualified version of me throwing shapes across a club with friends still bring a tear to the eye.  (Alternative mixes with more twazzling and more thonking also available.)

Of course, if I don’t find anywhere to live, I might end up like this plucky little chap, already firmly ensconced in la paddock du fromage…

The Littlest Hobo Theme
(Terry Bush – Maybe Tomorrow)