Dulwich Ukelele Club – There May Be Glory Ahead

(via The Londonist)

Simple as that, really.  Thought I’d give it a go – come follow me and see what I’ve found.  One wry smile per day almost guaranteed.

1. Lindstrom – Grand Ideas

2. Edvard Hill – Indeed I Am Very Glad To Be Back Home

4. Cliff Wedge – Go Go Yellow Screen

6. Wang Chung – Dance Hall Days (Extended 12″ Mix) [Why? It's miles worse than the 7"]

9. The Vengaboys Megamix by Nick Skitz

10. Q-Tex – E-Creation ’95

15. Skatebard – Data Italia

16. Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’

17. WVKEAF – Jump (12″ Edit) [The link is mislabelled]

20. Terry Wogan – The Floral Dance

The material was for his Russell Howard’s Good News show which’ll go out in a couple of weeks.  From what I heard (and the amount of laughing I and everyone else was doing) it’ll be well worth vegging in front of it when it airs, even if it is hiding on the digital-only BBC3.  Your mother wouldn’t like it.

Taco – Puttin’ On The Ritz

…and so it is with heavy heart that I wave goodbye to living in W12, and move just down the road to W6, ‘twixt a posh primary school and the A4. Pictures forthcoming soon.

Who would have thought we’d all come such a long way in 10 years, eh?

If there’s one word that can describe a lot of UK house music from the mid-90s, it’s flaccid.  Whilst European ravers pummelled their ears with the massively tuned kick-drums of gabber, British clubbers bopped apologetically to beats that wouldn’t burst a paper bag.  Leading this Charge of the Wet Brigade were The Bucketheads and their tedious anthem The Bomb!

Kenny Dope presents The Bucketheads – The Bomb! (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind)

Another grand example of house glued together with irritating sound-effects, The Bomb!‘s repertoire comprises some kind of alarm noise and a clipped sample of some yelping ladies, presumably excited by the tune’s unique percussive stylings of a haddock being slapped against a clothes-horse.  It’s the 9-minute version from the Positiva Classics series that’s forever etched on my brain; it’s not so much the eternal build-up that’s galling – though it’s bad enough – but the let-down when you get there.  4-or-so minutes of wiggling to a frenzied yet random arrangement of the aforementioned three samples should be paid off with a little more than a man with a bugle, and then some more of those three samples.  Not even a vocal lifted from Chicago can lift it for me, guys.  Sorry. Even after recent listening, why people ever liked this remains beyond me.

It’s not all bad news.  Michael Moog took the basic melodic idea, chucked out all the FX, added some more sensitive percussion and released a more satisfying albeit cocktail-loungey version in That Sound.  It has a chunkier if typical Full Intention remix-by-numbers on the flip and is generally worth seeking out if you’re desperate for some of this riff in your life.

Christmas has been pleasant as usual, if a little rushed, thoughI can finally let my proverbial hair down at least – I’ve got a new place in Hammersmith from mid-January.  (Pictures when I move in, though if you know me personally you can harass me in advance.)

So, Merry After-Boxing-Day Day, and here’s to next week’s new decade.  (Lawks – it’s almost like growing up.)

No idea how it’ll turn out, but nothing ventured, nothing gained,eh?

After considering a load of old Megadrive games in a post earlier this year, I got thinking about some of the newer Megadrive games that haven’t found their way onto newer-system compilations yet.  If I was to play another basket-full of 16-bit oldies on my PSP, here’s which I’d like to play:

• Sonic 3 - It only made it onto the PS3 version of the Genesis Collection
• Dynamite Headdy – Excellent, continually original fourth-wall-breaking platformer
• Universal Solider – Clone of run ‘n’ gunner Turrican, though would require 20,000 buttons
• Battletoads - Slightly silly classic platform-cum-beat-’em-up with lots of muscly amphibians
• Tiny Toon Adventures – Surprisingly good zany tie-in platforming fun
• Gunstar Heroes – One of the Megadrive’s finest shoot-’em-up hours, produced by Treasure
• Switch!/Panic! - Technically on Mega CD, makes up with surrealism where it lacks gameplay
  
• Bubsy The Bobcat – This ropey control system is the perfect excuse for much swearing
  
• Rolo To The Rescue – Tremendous, expansive game ruined at the time by no save feature
• James Pond 3 : Robocod - Mario-nodding explore-’em-up with hundreds of food-puns
• Toe Jam & Earl – Some of the best sound-effects on the Megadrive and mega-chilled gameplay
• Toe Jam & Earl 2 - Never has platforming been so secret-packed and funky
• Theme Park – I never did buy it, and I’d like to see whether it was any good
• Mega-Lo-Mania - Never bought this either – it looked nice though
• Earthworm Jim – They don’t make ‘em like this any more – quality from Shiny Entertainment
  
• Earthworm Jim 2 – Even more original and left-field than the original
• New Zealand Story – Just the music would be enough – the cutesy Kiwi might make me explode
  

Please make it so.

Love, — Rik

(Click for full-size.)

So: that’s Shinypixel up there being rendered as it would be on (an old version of) a N900, in a virtualized Maemo OS, running in a virtual image of Ubuntu, which is in turn running in VMWare under Windows XP.  And after all that, it still renders like it’s meant to.  Look how far we’ve come.

Well, that was probably the geekiest thing I’ll do all month.  I reckon I ought to go and lie down.

Today’s example was untroubled by any sort of credibility or appreciation from me, mind you. Click away and be reminded of this so-called “tune” while digesting my ensuing bile.

Black Legend – You See The Trouble With Me

I can see the trouble with you, Black Legend:  you’re crap.  Now, I’m all for contrasting elements in electronic music, but this is just a collection of random noises one after the other:  a faux-live recording of Barry-White-lite, an echoing disco-hit sample, and a stunningly out-of-place off-beat sample of someone apparently doing plumbing really damn loudly.   The latter’s particular brand of dull, resonant thwacking is perhaps my most hated sample in all of dance music, if not music itself.  Mangled together with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, it’s as if someone on a roof terrace on a lazy afternoon thought “I wonder if I can make some music out of whatever’s on my desktop today.”

But it didn’t matter.  The Ibeefa-drunk public lapped it up, and I found myself having to play it during gigs without ever really liking it, or actually even owning a copy – someone with worse taste always seemed to have one hanging around.  They’re welcome to keep it.  Or fry eggs on it.  Whatever.

The terror doesn’t end there, though.  A few years later, as pop and dance frenziedly ate themselves and each other in the face of the internet and Coldplay, Mad’House (ha!) purloined Black Legend’s exquisite pipe-hitting noise and slung Madonna through Autotune over the top:

Mad’House – Like A Prayer

This pop-tastic minor hit did in fairness tone things down a little, at least attempting to glue things together instead of leaving gaping 2-minute holes like Black Legend, but there’s some quite ropey drum syncing towards the end.  I didn’t really mind it too much, and may have been seen “dancing” along to it in some Loughborough dive bar many moons ago.  Those were the days, eh?

Words simply cannot express how much displeasure this brought to my ears and countenance in the late 90s.  Despite loud protestations that extended periods of repetitive twangy guitar jangling sucked, I have only found about 3 other people that ever agreed with me.

Stardust – Music Sounds Better With You

Dance-pop antagonists Spacedust did a far better job of making similar samples sound more interesting on their extremely naughty white label, which has been excellently described as “crass” by people who presumably don’t have ears.  (It also appears on their loosely-monickered greatest hits, should you be desperate for a copy.)

I personally have a copy of the Stardust EP on white-label, which contains a decent Bob Sinclar mix alongside two terrible Madonna and Gym & Tonic mashups, and an obviously knocked-off way-too-loud copy of the aforementioned Spacedust effort.  That’ll teach me.  But then again, you probably own a copy of the actual Stardust single, and that’s far worse.

In the meantime it’s a great excuse to slide in this University classic from yesteryear:

Barthezz – On The Move

As usual, it’s gradually floated across the “cheese” line in the intervening years, but the associated memories of an entirely less qualified version of me throwing shapes across a club with friends still bring a tear to the eye.  (Alternative mixes with more twazzling and more thonking also available.)

Of course, if I don’t find anywhere to live, I might end up like this plucky little chap, already firmly ensconced in la paddock du fromage…

The Littlest Hobo Theme
(Terry Bush – Maybe Tomorrow)

Percy Faith – Theme From A Summer Place

Except that it’s awesome – especially the bloke with the moustache.

Bodies Without Organs – Chariots Of Fire

Chicane – No Ordinary Morning

Oh well – an excellent slice of the short-lived UK Garage season, with a surprisingly good video to boot which I’d never seen until I happened across this YouTube video.

187 Lockdown – Gunman

Crowd Pleasers Vol. 1 Side A